how much, how much can i say without saying anything... why i don't need a question mark, why these words can just float, and rearrange themselves... why i avoid and stay still, and refuse to watch you spin around... refuse to remember i used to revolve the same way. will you stop on my orbit for a second... or an infinity... will you love me the first day it snows? i want to stop you right in the middle of "i lov..." and show you the first snowflakes. "...e you" - we will save it for the summer. oh... i should paste my thoughts back onto the insides of this shell, and be careful how i move so it doesnt shake again. it's very difficult to bend and pick them off the floor where they fell... all around me... still beating in their tiny core... parts of me that shatter and sometimes just peel off... and sometimes when i try to gather them back, my stitches break... and i have to stop moving, otherwise i'll start bleeding again... and i lose so many of you, i'm sorry.
come, let go... come help me... come ,let's forget about important things...
bah... i can't sleep... i would like to thank my parents and sister for always being there for me. being there where... in my personal hell, that i've so elaborately designed. thank you for not letting me sink. i love you mom i love you dad love u crazy sis love u grandma and grandpa... u're the best grandparents ever, and it's not just me who says it.. all my friends who've met u agree with this. love u cousin vinny (?:P)... and not just for fixing my comp everytime... love all my friends... my kindergarden best friend whose name i barely remember...was it ana maria? she was blonde and kind, that's all i remember. love u danyi, for letting me sit next to you in class 9 yrs ago, and we still together now in our quest for oriental bliss. love u anca, for making those highschool years meaningful. love you sylv, i loved growing up with you. since i'm at it, love you kahn, hope u bless me from kitty heaven. love you amy... meeting you was the best thing to come out of my silly habit of abusing myself. if miracles had a name, they'd be named after you. love my online friends... regardless how little time i have spent with you..it was always well spent... with a special mention: thank yew teva and bless yew jess...
...love you, my darlrlrlrling... love you so much that i'm even startin to see myself as you describe me... like a genuine princess...coz our love is royalty, isn't it? our love is really up there...
love y'all, mentioned or not, but pretty much you know who you are and i ain't drunk. i forgot, i love my guardian angel... (it's not a human being, it's really an angel... or my alter-ego, watever one wants to call it)...that's saying that, in a way, i love myself... or at least a part of me. and i love you God. whatever your form. that's also saying that, in a way, i love myself. but u know what's the best part of all this? i love i love... i love.....